Guide to Jude

From RationalWiki

The Epistle of St. Jude is yet another really short "book" in the Bible. It is St. Jude's only contribution to the literature of the civilized world, and boy does he let fly in this one which is probably why he was not allowed to contribute a second book to the Bible.

Jude is the quintissential True Beliving Fanatic, spewing forth flowery language about the Chains of Darkness, God's Holy Judgment, Those Long Ago Marked Out For Condemnation, Blasphemy, St. Michael Fiercely Fighting with the Devil over the Body of Moses, Woe To Them, etc etc etc, and a long run-on sentence about wild waves of the sea foaming up their shame, or something. Whatever. One gets the impression St. Jude had unkempt hair, a thousand-yard stare, hadn't bathed in several weeks, launched into wild "repent!" sermons at the drop of a hat, and probably kept a can of paint and painted "Trust Jesus" everywhere he went.

The Epistle of Jude is beloved by heresy-hunters everywhere because it contains the oft-quoted verse about "contending for the faith once delivered to the Saints." Catholics used that verse to burn Protestants at the stake, and Protestants used that verse to denounce the Great Satanic Papal Whore of Babylon to eternal damnation in the Lake of Fire, so Jude must have been onto something there if both sides agreed he was right.

Jude's real name was Judas Thaddaeus, but Judas Iscariot did for that first name what Adolph Hitler did for those little square mustaches. Since the book of Jude talks about persevering in the midst of hopelessness, Catholics often take out ads in the newspaper praying for St. Jude to do something about their life savings invested in Washington Mutual stocks.

Guide to the Bible