Guide to Kings

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Guide to Kings (Tanakh) or 1st Kings and 2nd Kings (Christian Old Testament)

The Book of Kings in the Jewish Tanakh is a record of the history of Israel and then Israel & Judah from the 10th century BCE to roughly the 6th century delineated by addressing each King's reign from Solomon to the end of the Kings reigns and the conquest of the Babylonians. In the Tanakh, Kings is part of the Prophets (Nevi'im) In the Christian Bible, Kings has been split into 1 Kings and 2 Kings.

1 Synopsis
2 Kings of Note
3 Quotes & Commentary
- 3.1 Pi & the Molten Sea
4 Footnotes

[edit] Synopsis

When David was on his death bed he shivered all the time. They piled blankets on him, but he was still cold. So finally they rounded up a virgin to crawl into his bed to give him heat, which she promptly did. But it was strictly business. The noble and kingly King David was a man with a very strong will, who never once took advantage of the situation.

"And the damsel was very fair, and cherished the king, and ministered to him: but the king knew her not."

Perhaps it was because his wife Bathsheba was nearby. What was wrong with her body heat? Wasn't she 98.6 degrees F? At any rate, it was perks like deathbed virgin heating pads that inspired men to become kings throughout history. David revived enough to make his final words a command for David and Bathsheba's son Solomon to whack Joab, because David was exceedingly wroth with Joab for whacking his son Absalom. Solomon had Joab whacked in the Temple of Yahweh.

Now it came to pass, when Solomon was elevated to the throne, God granted him one wish. Solomon could have asked for a chariot driven by lions and made of pure gold, or 72 virgin heating pads, but instead he asked for wisdom and discernment. God was pleased, and granted the request immediately:

"Behold, I have done according to thy words: lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart; so that there was none like thee before thee, neither after thee shall any arise like unto thee."

That means Solomon was wiser than Jesus, even!

[edit] Kings of Note

Solomon. Solomon takes accession from David and builds the first temple (known for some reason as "Solomon's Temple to this day). Solomon is well known for his wisdom which includes the acts of cutting babies in half, writing songs, and making peace with Egypt. He is also famous for managing to keep a household of peace with over 700 wives and concubines. You go, guy!

Rehoboam. After Solomon dies, the kingdom falls apart, literally. Israel becomes two and Solomon's son becomes the first king of Judah. Jeroboam the king of the new Israel.

Ahab. Some kings come and go in each Kingdom, and along come Ahab who marries the wicked Jezebel^[1] who worships Ba'al. This is significant because it bring the prophet Elijah who runs around foretelling of gloom and doom.

End. Some other kings come and go, the North Kingdom is destroyed by Assyria, and Nebuchadnezzar goes into Judah (the southern Kingdom) and takes it over, forcing the Jews into Babylonian Exile.

[edit] Quotes & Commentary

[edit] Pi & the Molten Sea

Of particular interest is 1 Kings 7:23 "And he made a molten sea, ten cubits from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, and his height was five cubits: and a line of thirty cubits did compass it round about."

Most attribute this to either the measure of the cubit being variable or the measurements being imprecise. Some special people believe this passage is very clear; God has the power to change the value of pi to exactly 3.