Conservapedia:What is going on at CP?

Trus me Conservapedia

Introduction

Newcomer's Guide What is going on?

Commentary

Best of Conservapedia Blatant plagiarism Differences with Wikipedia Hijacked articles "SDG" "TZB" "Fab Five" Sysops Timeline CP in the media

In-depth analysis

Active users Illustrated guide

Fun

Article Matrix Greatest Insights Parthian Shots v - t - e

Keep up to date with all the insanity at extremist Christian conservative blog Conservapedia right here.

This page is for rolling reports of the strange, contradictory or humorous activity at Conservapedia. Archives of past months are available at:

There are are several other places where we Chronicle Conservapedia Craziness:

• All-time classics worth preserving for eternity should be removed from this page and entered at Best of Conservapedia. The new "up/down" voting system is how we are going to try to pick what should go there.
• Much of the insanity relates to users foolishly thinking they can add sane material, or, worse yet, argue with the powers that be. They are usually banned quickly, and often in fascinating ways. See Conservapedia:Banwatch for articles of this sort.

Please add newest contributions to this list at the top and try to copy the formatting carefully so the polls work properly. Each new entry gets an ID number one higher than the previous one.

Note to Readers: Due to conservative deceit, some page links from this page to Conservapedia may be broken.

What is going on?

Welcome back CP editors. You can now discover all your stupidities again!

• Is it just me or is this the worst statistical reasoning you've ever heard?
• A "Jewish rabbi." As opposed to, you know, those other, non-Jewish rabbis.
• I know this is petty, but Gun Control is greater than fewer guns? They should work on that mathitamaticals notation
• ZOMG NEW CONTEST!
• Mountains have a liberal bias. Or, at least geology does.
• Andy thinks no atheist has read the Bible. Presumably, if they had, they would've been convinced by the overwhelming reason of it all... hmmmm. Anyways, have you read the Bible? Tell us here!
• Apparently Google hits correlate with a subject's merit. Well, Andy, in that case, we urge you to look at the #1 sponsored link when you Google yourself (or the #5 link when you Google "Conservapedia") - that is, unless Googling yourself is un-Christian.
• Ten thousand new articles in five days? I don't think so, Sharon - and Andy agrees. But what's interesting is the HTML comment there: "adjusted for estimated deletions and calendar day stubs" - I thought Andy claimed that the frontpage count was accurate (as opposed to the "estimation" of the Stats page)... things are about as transparent as a block of lead right now... just the way CP likes it.
• Ronald Reagan's legacy is... much in doubt. Note that this is a Conservapedia featured article, which is woefully incomplete. With such rigorous standards for "featured content," it's no doubt why Conservapedia is so trusworthy.
• Apparently this is the proper tone for an encyclopedia.
• Good news for homosexuals and bad news for atheists. It seems Conservative found a new hobby. The best part of it is where Conservative says that creationists tend to win debates with "evolutionists," because "evolutionists" refuse to debate them. Do you wonder why?
• Mwuaaahah! Ha Hah! Hee hee! Oh noes! The Andy Schlafly openmindedness test:

cp:Essay:Quantifying_Openmindedness

• Following Rob's "Gay Bomb Would Have Prevented 9/11" idea, here is Andrew Schlafly's take: 9/11 could have been prevented if... a random passenger had had a gun!
• Paging Dr. Freud! Conservative has a very important message for Andy about homoschooling. Update: Finger memory complications continue.
• Start the bantimer on Iduan: [1][2]
• Did Ed just call Andy a "nit-picking legal theorist?" Where's a planet-sized barnstar when you need one?
• Wow. Just wow.
• Maybe it's the Xmas er ah Christmas Spirit but it seems people are so helpful lately.
• Reagan = new featured article. Sub-editors around the world buckle in and weep... Epic fail.
• The new Quote Mines are here! The new quote mines are here!
• This guy is interesting, and seems to have the ear of Schlafy also. Can he change things though?
• As a wise Monkey once said.... It doesn't matter, it's in the past
• The Bible Verse and Historical Quote that Andy once boasted about proved to be an impossible task for conservapedians and is no more.
• You can't argue with logic like this. However, as I write this, RandolphC has probably already been banned.
• I'm not much of a New Testament kinda guy. Is Mark 7:15 really about pooping?
• Bethany logic: Of course we're going to keep presenting misleading, fraudulent and biased information on the front page. Nobody's perfect!
• Nevermind the internet, it was rock music that influenced the Colorado shooter. As long as homeschooling is cleared of any blame. By the way, public schools are still at fault in every other case.
• A user calls Andy out on another anti-anything but what he believes ideology.
• Karajou "expands an article" by copying it from Wikipedia the same .gov source WP apparently copied from... (See source link at bottom) It's not new (Kara's been doing that gig for a while with countries), but it shows just how highly qualified the sysops are - it takes lots of skill to copy this much. ;)
• Yeah, Andy, I'm sure the Eighth Circuit used the word "trolling".
• According to Andy, the only views that exist are that a human is created at conception or at birth and no one argues otherwise. Except, you know, those millions who don't view a fertilized egg as a full human, but do take that view of an 8-month old fetus.
• Maybe I'm just being a jerk, but why do they need the following redirects? How many Sarumans, Saurons, and Frodos can there possibly be?
• CP's "Creations of God" category (category text: "Things made by God.") currently shows that YEC is wrong and that God didn't create the Earth (or the universe) after all: God's only creation as of right now is the "Human" "Homo Sapiens"
• As bad as it is people still "choose" to be homosexual. God, it must be pretty damn good then, eh?
• I'm being proactive with this one. Check back often with this discussion as it is sure to bring out the best in Aschlafly, Karajou, and any of the other classy CP editors. Already it is clear Kaltenbrunner Karajou, the literalist, can't even understand the concept of "hate crime".
• This is nothing new or shocking. I just thought I'd throw it in for its ability to disturb rational people. Need a little more?
• Homeschooling: Providing the modern world with its top scientists scholars mathematicians football players!
• The world of cp:user:SlapHappy seems to be a very lawless place
• "Unless George Bush, David Cameron and The Frickin' Queen of England stand here in front of me and tell me Dawkins is actually a Professor, I'm not having it!"
• Debbie does Dallas, Karajou does Europe *hip-thrust*
• Karajou, the last great American and an expert in global pollution, even if his reading comprehension needs a minute to kick in...
• The Golden Compass is a bust!!!!!!. Er, well, sort of, it's still at the top of the box office.
• Andy's fan does Andy's work for him and is blocked and his silly rant is removed. But he may rant some more in one day. He is obviously inspired by the moon.
• 'Wikipedia will be dead or unrecognisable within a year'. Andy lays down his One Year Plan. I'm off to the bookies.
• Colorado's lax policy on gun control saved 100 lives, because, you know, that's the typical number killed in such shooting sprees.
• Are you homosexual? Well you've got AIDS. (Here's the link to the Huckabee article referenced.)
• The only information you can trust? Close your eyes, tap your ears and make it up by yourself, Andy says.
• Andy speaks in tongues with this weird edit summary.
• Sources? Who needs sources? Just counter by asking them for a source!
• According to Andy's new essay, benefits of conservativism include: Allowing one to speak freely, and not in a self-serving manner; and rising above personal likes and dislikes; Enabling one to recognize "imposters" [sic].
• Unfortunately, as yet very little information is known about the North American continent. Update: HelpJazz tries to make things look less retarded, but Karajou won't have any of that! After all, those are his empty sections.
• Need evidence Andy reads RW constantly? One minute after this is mentioned on RW, it's deleted on CP. Nice one Edgerunner! Now make Andy bark like a dog!
• Sometimes you just have to take pleasure in simpler, less sophisticated lulz
• Genocide? Naaaaaaahhhhhhh. Just typical liberal fuss about nothing, says Andy. Andy knows.
• Back to the Colorado shootings, Andy not only claims to ignore posts (but knows someone said "hypocritical", meaning he did read them) against him, but finds a new wide-range outlet to blame, the internet. Maybe WE caused it!
• Conservapedia manages to stay abreast of affairs in foreign countries (36 years after the event).
• Vulgar rap artists? Not allowed. Family friendly and such. It's best to stay away from hip-hop. Wait, hold on...we'll actually let the young 'uns idolize MIMS cuz he drops some tight rhymes!!! And his lyrics are a bastion of conservative values!
• Ed poor corrects another liberal myth
• Oh the power of political spin. A homeschooled gunman from a deeply religious background shoots churchgoers. Luckily, someone had a gun and could stop him! Connected: SSchultz updates the "Young mass murderers" article with factually correct info, but is reverted immediately because the guy doesn't fit Andy's definition of "young"... although he was the same age as the V-Tech shooter...
• RobS goes above and beyond the call of stupid.
• Rob exercises his knowledge of adjectives. Apparently, trying to appeal to Aschlafly's better nature doesn't just mean you're a hopeless optimist, it also means you're a COMMIE!
• After a widespread call for proof of the vaccination-Autism link, Andy finally comes through with the proof: "thousands" of parents agree with him. Yes, nothing spells scientific certainty like upset parents ranting that "my son got vaccinated and now he has Autism!" And why did it only take 5 seconds for Aschlafly to find this link? (Hint: Andy is legal counsel to the AAPS.)
• Andy calls for more guns to be added to the mix in Paris. Yeah. That'll calm things down.
• In a masterpiece of circular "logic", Phillip J. Rayment tests possibly-imaginary beings for validity by seeing how they compare to...the Bible's account of what God can do.
• A new editor who doesn't do anything suspicious is of course suspicious.
• Jenkins gives Andy a taste of his own statistics.
• So Ed's articles don't say much, but with 8 prepositional phrases in one sentence, they make fun parsing.
• Not only does Ed Poor write very complete and useful articles, but, as evidenced by his edit summary, he researches them well too!
• Don't tell anyone but Edna (hide my light under a bushel) Poor has made a few discreet edits. Luckily, his drum stub is far better than the article called drums, which was, of course, created by an RWian back in the days before the great purge.
• Oh my sweet Jeebus... vaccines now have PLANETS in them? Update: Pointing this out will get you blocked on the 'Trustworty Encyclopedia'.
• Surely this liberal, Freudian slip of an edit from Helpjazz won't pass the CP thought police. See also: crucifiction.
• It doesn't matter what you say, it's your political beliefs that count
• An unsigned comment from Wikimeister Auntie Edna shows s/he just doesn't understand the real issue of gun control.
• Phase 1 of RationalWiki's Conservapedia Improvement Drive kicks off with this deep-mole edit in one of Assfly's pet articles. Unfortunately Edna hasn't comprehended the context and makes an irrelevant edit summary.
• Hey, you starving millions, it's your fault for not having faith. There's no scarcity really.
• Us girls are the cause of it all according to Ed.
• No, hang on a sec Andy, you've got me really confused now? (Read the two preceding comments for context).
• 20 lives, including yours, depend on your wit and skill to solve dire situations with moral implications, what should you do? Pray Jesus! Also, it is "silly" to speculate about a situation like this, because it would "never happen".
• Hmmmm, interesting. But I thought Global Warming was a myth (or if real, it was certainly not caused by increased levels of CO2). Oh, and if the prose seems a bit too polished for Joaquin, that's because it's stolen from yahoo.
• "Uncle" Ed Poor risks the wrath of Scotsmen world-wide with this edit summary
• Now we have the definitive word on why science is useless, thank you PJR.
• Karajou got it wrong in the first place, MichaelGaribaldi poked some fun and was reverted by Joaquin Martinez. And still they can't spell etymology. Update: Claude saves the day.
• Andy removes all memory liberal bias of the American Indian Genocide, and Ed Poor tries to burn the evidence, along with other stuff.
• Conservapedians hone their logical fallacies debating skills
• YAY ANOTHER SHOOTING!!! This student also went to a public school, so clearly that was the cause of what he did.
• Conservative messed up his articles after he deleted some of his crap, and Jenkins started to clean it up. Which, for some reason, bought a block, and a reply from justifiably enraged Jenkins.
• A lot of good stuff here. Ranging from how Dinosaurs aren't millions of years old to how an Atheist claiming to be happy is exactly the same as a Smoker who claims to be in good shape.
• "Republicans Report Having Better Mental Health Than Democrats...The survey found that 58 percent of Republicans polled reported having excellent mental health. Only 38 percent of Democrats and 43 percent of Independents reported the same." Indeed, Crockoshite, self-reported results are certainly a fool-proof method of determining the actual mental health of a population...
• In perhaps the most deceitful comment ever uttered, RobS calls himself "extremely broadminded & flexible".
• A new page on young mass murders, complete with a "liberal response" column (mewonders that the conservative responses are). Apparently wearing black is a belief as well.
• With an epic amount of chutzpah, Andy berates Wikipedia for having a secret forum open only to the elite, and for blocking a large range of IPs in order to block a single user. Perhaps his real concern is Wikipedia stealing his playbook?
• Move over, Babelfish! Conservapedia is the new site for Spanish translations!
• In true pathetic fashion, the tragic event of a troubled teen shooting rampage is capitalized. Unfortunately, entertainment springs forth. (Too soon?)
• Greg scores a 34/35 in Schlafly's exam and compliments his liberal teacher, as any good sportsman, Schlafly does too. Wait, did he say LIBERAL? no exam for you, interrogation pending. Update: Greg stands firm and doesn't backpedal. Update: Andy still suspects liberal deceit.
• Karajou fills TK's boots and lets it be known CP doesn't do morals.
• What we have all come to respect conservapedia for, articles just left blank for over five days;[3] [4] [5] [6]
• If a supporter of Hillary Clinton submits a question for a Republican debate, then it's breaking news. If a man claims to be a suicide bomber and takes hostages at Hillary Clinton's headquarters, it's not breaking news.
• So begins the circling of the wagons.
• Conservative's latest addition to his "Gays are evil" magnum opus shows that he agrees with Ahmadinejad in at least one way: there are no gays in Iran.
• Andy tersely concisely answers a high school student's questions about Conservapedia. Highlights include his assertion that blogs are "dinosaurs" (but only liberal blogs should realize this), CP has been too accommodating of liberals, and their ridiculous rants about liberal style et al can be "scientifically tested" (what he doesn't mention is that they fail the scientific test).
• Blocked for LIEberal censorship.
• Given CBC's last article on Conservapedia, I'm sure their latest documentation will be glowing.