Fun:Andy's Evening

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Andy's Evening

The sound of a window slamming echoed throughout the house, the westerly winds were becoming stronger, bringing with them the dust of the Pennsylvanian plains. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. A long day had finally passed, the stress had gradually worn at Andy, who had been focusing on Conservapedia Day. The long day had passed, Andy was able to rest. Sitting back in his chair, he allowed his aching muscles to slacken as he finally allowed himself to relax.

Cackling to himself with complete abandon, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent slip-up by a Democratic congressman. As he demanded his wife make him a ham and swiss cheese sandwich, to fulfill her duty as his 'helpmeet', Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Grappling in the darkness for his glasses, Andy grumbled as his sleep was cut short. With the speed of a man half his age, Andy took flight as he bolted toward his study to answer his phone. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. Andy felt his grip on the phone tighten as the moment he had been dreading unfolded before him. With a loud crack, the phone had snapped in half under Andy's grip. With no hesitation, Andy dashed to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " God's horse!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.

His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from WorldNetDaily and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy was incandescent with rage when he read repeated requests for him to cite the sources of the statistics he'd cleverly developed in support of his claims. After immediately praying for god to smite the author, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.

After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User" (I notice how you hide behind an alias), I've analyzed your unconcise replies and you deny that liberals get a thrill out of deceit for its own sake alone, so anyone with an open mind can see that you're not here to substantially contribute to this project. You also refuse to accept that preaching about Hell reduces violence. It's simple logic: we do not impose the silly copyright restrictions imposed by Wikipedia. Lots of people are learning that, surprise, surprise, the law applies to vandalism on the internet too. --Aschlafly 10:17, 15 May 2024 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of 5 years (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Moronic vandalism)

Conservapedia was safe for another night. Chuckling to himself, Andy knew it was safe to sleep once again. He knew he'd earned it.

The End