Talk:Examples of God personally killing people

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Before this page gets renamed, you will note there are examples form both the old and new testaments.--Bob_M (talk) 13:44, 4 July 2007 (CDT)

God seems to have been responsible for a lot more deaths than Satan... MiddleMan 13:45, 4 July 2007 (CDT)

Well, I think, actual examples of Satan killing people are a bit thin on the ground. There's Job's family - but that was really a bet with god. I can't think of any others off hand. --Bob_M (talk) 13:50, 4 July 2007 (CDT)

God killed every living human on Earth in the Great Flood. Compared to that, every mass-murderer in human history has been a piker. --(Gulik)67.102.192.7 14:44, 4 July 2007 (CDT)

What I can't understand is if God wiped everyone out except Noah and his family where did all these Baalists comes from. What made them convert from the one true religion? What went wrong with Conservative family values? I mean it wasn't as if there were any lbruls to lead them astray. ɱ@δ ɱ!ɳ^Hello?/_{I did this!} 15:23, 4 July 2007 (CDT)

Mmmm. Yes. Wonder what Baal had? Seems to have been very popular. Have to find out a bit more.--Bob_M (talk) 08:31, 5 July 2007 (CDT)

Winning smile and charming personality perhaps? Or maybe he was a little more tolerant when it came to smiting his followers with godly wrath? _liessmoke^mirrors 08:47, 5 July 2007 (CDT)

A hot wife: Baal was the consort of Ishtar, the goddess of sex and violence. (JHVH would have a hard time competing on one of those scores.) --Gulik 20:50, 6 July 2007 (CDT)

Contents 1 Uzzah 2 Jesus 3 Onan 4 No one noticed? 5 Hi 6 Killed for looking at (or into) ark 7 Personally 8 prehistoric fish & pleasiosaur

[edit] Uzzah

I was always interested by this guy, and the seemingly blatant unfairness of his death. Now, I am aware that there are theological arguments that could hypothetically be made about this, but I am more inclined to believe that the fellow was a casualty of the Ark's construction. Turns out the thing was built like a massive Leyden jar – and, being in the desert, the charge could have become enormous. --Linus^{(plot evil tech)} 21:03, 6 July 2007 (CDT)

Theologically it could be covered biblical death penalties Specifically "Non-priests going near the tabernacle when it is being moved. (Numb 1:51)". So I guess he got what was coming to him.--Bob_M (talk) 05:43, 7 July 2007 (CDT)

Yeah, but I still kinda prefer the Leyden jar explanation :). --Linus^{(plot evil tech)} 13:19, 7 July 2007 (CDT)

Right, gold foil inside and out, housed in the tabernacle with all those wonderfully ornate silken curtains just shedding off electrons by the trillions. A modern (external) defibrillator only packs a 400 joule jolt, tops. I've used telsa coils to charge a leyden jar, once. The tesla coil would produce bolts up to three feet. When I powered down thew coil the leyden jar (a glass polar water bottle) spontaneously discharged to the grounding spike (which I had placed in case the tesla coil malfunctioned to save the transformer from damaging feedback), the spike was about a dozen feet away. The next day I noticed a ring of dead earthworms around where the spike was. If I ever want to get into the fishing bait bidness I'll know how to scare up "product". ~~ CЯacke® 21:54, 6 July 2007 (CDT)

[edit] Jesus

I see that Jesus had been added to those killed by God. I think this may be stretching things a bit, as God didn't carry out the act personally as is described in the other occasions. Any thoughts? --Bob_M (talk) 04:16, 20 July 2007 (CDT)

Doesn't really fit with the "personally" bit in the title as he didn't exactly do the dirty work himself, he just let the "justice" system at the time work its course. _prettydilettante^lies 04:24, 20 July 2007 (CDT)

Well, God is God. But Jesus is also God (unless you ask the Arians, of course, but let's not go there). So it's more an "example of God killing himself" than anything else, which is of course sort of the point of the whole exercise. --AKjeldsen^Godspeed! 04:28, 20 July 2007 (CDT)

I agree - it's a bit of a stretch, but a stretch that, like I said, a decent lawyer could make on some sort of negligence-causing-manslaughter charge. Hey, I'm the new guy, you don't think it should be there, take it down - I'm cool with it...PFoster 08:47, 20 July 2007 (CDT)

OK, cheers. I'll take it out. I suppose we could start a broader list of "people killed because of God's lack of intervention" - but that might include all of humanity not currently dead. People killed by God's command is another possibility. I suspect it would include about half the book of Joshua. And much of the rest of the OT.--Bob_M (talk) 09:00, 20 July 2007 (CDT)

You know, if it was God killing God would that not be suicide? If so would that not be a sin? So I beg to question if Jesus truly was sinless?--TimS 08:50, 20 July 2007 (CDT)

Just as a side comment, how can God be "Just" when he breaks his own rules? (Above suicide issue)--TimS 08:59, 20 July 2007 (CDT)

Strangely enough I was thinking what to call a god killing himself while I was mowing the lawn. Should it have a special name? I mean if you kill a god it's deicide, but should suicide by a god have a special name? Anyway, I've removed the example.--Bob_M (talk) 08:57, 20 July 2007 (CDT)

Maybe übersuicide? Or suideicide? Or just übercide? I'm not really sure. Thunderkatz^Ho! 09:10, 20 July 2007 (CDT)

autodeicide. PFoster 09:31, 20 July 2007 (CDT)

[edit] Onan

Crime - “spilling his seed”. Hate to turn this into a jihad, but he died because of where he did not put the seed (Not giving his late brother's wife a child), not where he did (Masturbation). The crime was spilling his seed in the stead of impregnating Tamar with it like God said too. That is how I understand it, did I misinterprate?--72.188.143.77 17:27, 21 August 2007 (CDT)

The "crime" is an omnipotent god micromanaging evolution to the point he finds it necessary to off a guy, (Er), to get to the "better seed" (Onan's), then killing off Onan because he was too smart to play by the rules of the culture that this god we're dealing with didn't see coming (some "god", eh?) So, Yes, you are correct as to WHY this god fella kilt Onan. But it's just as easy to say god didn't like the look on Onan's mug, because it's just the arbitrariness of it that rings hollow.

My personal opinion, Onan was a story to get to Judah's double dealing with Tamar. St. CЯacke® 18:32, 21 August 2007 (CDT)

[edit] No one noticed?

No one noticed the practical joke I put at the end of this article ('Recent killings by God')? —_Essayist RA ^{Talk to me} _ 20:38, 22 August 2007 (CDT)

I'm so disappointed. —_Essayist RA ^{Talk to me} _ 20:39, 22 August 2007

My mother died of Alzheimers - it aint a subject for humour - possibly the worst way to go! Keep ^{me out of it!} 20:56, 22 August 2007 (CDT)

My mother too, died from the effects of Alzheimer's. I didn't take offense at the joke, neither, though, did I think it particularly funny. St. CЯacke® 21:13, 22 August 2007 (CDT)

I work with people with Alzheimer-type dementia and other dementias on a pretty regular basis. It's a pretty horrible disorder. --Kels 21:17, 22 August 2007 (CDT)

In a quirky sort of way there are "funny" moments, globally it's tragic, but in day-to-day interactions there is much...fun. When you realize that the "sufferers" (at certain stages of the condition) stop caring that they're becoming increasingly impaired, or even forget that they have the condition, their lives become somehow more peaceful. It's oddly beautiful seeing a parent (based on my own experience) become the child they once were again. Being a caregiver (as I was) I believe it's easier to see the progression since it happens day-by-day. If one is unable to caregive and forced to institutionalize one's parent and unable to visit daily, the progression seems much more abrupt which is harder on the survivors than the patient herself. St. CЯacke® 23:06, 22 August 2007 (CDT)

From the moment we realised that my 'Telegraph crossword addict' mother couldn't spell her own name to the day she died in an awful hospital ward, there was nothing repeat nothing "beautiful" about watching the disintegration of a once very intelligent woman. Just as bad was the effect on my father who loved her until and beyond her death. Keep ^{him away from ME} 23:40, 22 August 2007 (CDT)

I am sorry that your mother's death was so rough on you and your family. In my experience, my mother's descent into the depths of the illness led to many unpleasantnesses. I was able to keep her in her home until the last two weeks of her life, when, having "forgotten" how to swallow, she aspirated fruit juice into her lungs and developed pneumonia which is what ultimately killed her. From the onset until her death, we had about 12 years with her. Actually we had about 9 years with her and three years of having the shell (body) that she once occupied. She had a blindness or sorts, her eyes probably worked fine, it was her brain that could no longer process the images in a coherent way.

Still, while she was "devolving" she became childlike, loving to sing songs over and over. For a while I could get her out of a bad or combative mood by singing a song (that I had learned by rote from her) briefly engaging with her on some deep and mystical level. It was these times that I began to "look forward" to while blending her breakfast, or walking her to the toilet. It was a proof to me that some part of her was still "in there". Having seen my grandmother and aunt die of this same affliction that we, as a family, were steeled for the inevitable. St. CЯacke® 00:21, 23 August 2007 (CDT)

As a survivor of cancer, I have to agree that diseases are not (generally) funny. Locke ^{Always Watching......} 23:49, 22 August 2007 (CDT)

I zapped the "recent killings" bit.--Bob^{bing up} 16:13, 16 November 2007 (EST)

[edit] Hi

I did not kill all of these people, it was Satan posing as me. I would never do such things, but Satan is a clever lier and sent his deamons over to edit the bible itself. *God* 23:33, 15 November 2007 (EST)

Yeah, you would never do dat... human ^{eats glue} 23:39, 15 November 2007 (EST)

[edit] Killed for looking at (or into) ark

Seems there is a bit of a discrepency on this one. KJV gives "fifty thousand and threescore and ten men". The NIV gives seventy, but with a note to say that some manuscripts have the higher number.--Bob^{bing up} 10:17, 25 May 2008 (EDT)

[edit] Personally

I find myself moved to question whether the various people being killed by the largely defensive weapons of lion, bear or angel really belong on this list. Those are hardly personal killings by God, after all. --AKjeldsen^{Cum dissensie} 11:36, 25 May 2008 (EDT)

Mmmm. Yes, we don't, after all, include all the thousands allegedly killed at his instruction by the genocidal of Israel, as those were bit third hand. On the other hand the lion/angel ones were, according to the OT, direct miraculous interventions - so perhaps the text could be expanded to read "Killed by his personal hand or as a consequence of his divine intervention."--Bob^{bing up} 03:12, 9 July 2008 (EDT)

[edit] prehistoric fish & pleasiosaur

So this is a semi-serious question for those familiar with Young Earth Creationism. How do the anti-enviros explain how a flood managed to kill sea going dinosaurs, but didn't kill dolphins, trout, tuna and alligators, all of which think the water is a fine place to hang out during the floody season. Just curious.--WaitingforGodot 18:40, 8 July 2008 (EDT)

Well, it's obvious! The kangaroos, on their floating mat cruise to Oz, had nothing to eat but plesiosaur - and they ate them all, yum! ħuman ^random 21:37, 8 July 2008 (EDT)

I've seen the question asked, but I don't remember any good answers. The problem is that, as the whole story is miraculous, you simply have to invoke more miracles to explain any inconsistencies. Consequently trying to tie people down with "What about x then?" tends to not get you very far as the answer is simply another miracle.--Bob^{bing up} 03:07, 9 July 2008 (EDT)