Talk:Narconon
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Some of the first/second person usage could be removed, I think, without killing teh funny? ħuman be in 15:26, 24 August 2008 (EDT)
- Which bits? Off the top of my head, I'm not sure what you're referring to. Jellyfish!I kill spider 15:31, 24 August 2008 (EDT)
- I forgot to say "singular" ;). Oh, just anywhere it says "I", says "you" in a way that seems directed to one person. There were only a few, and while it didn't make it "bad" writing, it's harder to build on things like that. Sometimes just changing "I" to "we" is enough; the "you"s can often be changed to "one". I noticed you cut at least one out, so you know what I mean, basically. Or did you get them all, and now you're just messing with me? Anyway, the trick is to do it with drying out the lolzies, of course. ħuman - over 12 edits! 16:54, 24 August 2008 (EDT)
- I think I weeded out the worst examples. I wasn't sure what you meant to begin with, so I might not have got them all. And there was a large gap between my question and my editing. Jellyfish!I kill spider 17:03, 24 August 2008 (EDT)
- I forgot to say "singular" ;). Oh, just anywhere it says "I", says "you" in a way that seems directed to one person. There were only a few, and while it didn't make it "bad" writing, it's harder to build on things like that. Sometimes just changing "I" to "we" is enough; the "you"s can often be changed to "one". I noticed you cut at least one out, so you know what I mean, basically. Or did you get them all, and now you're just messing with me? Anyway, the trick is to do it with drying out the lolzies, of course. ħuman - over 12 edits! 16:54, 24 August 2008 (EDT)
