Traditional values

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He knew about concerned citizens. Wherever they were, they all spoke the same private language, where "traditional values" meant "hang someone."
   - Terry Pratchett, The Truth.

A return to traditional values is an oft spoken desire of Conservatives. Traditional values include:

  • Slavery
  • Feudalism
  • Women as chattels
  • Infanticide (it must be noted that this does not include any time before "pre-uteran drop-out")
  • Poor sanitation
  • Capital punishment for heretics [1]
  • Life expectancy not exceeding 50 years
  • Entrenched racism
  • Capital punishment for sexual deviancy [2]
  • Capital punishment for, well, everything. "It's hanging for a sheep, or murder in the first degree."
  • 80 hour work week
  • No paid holidays
  • Famine

On the other hand, Morris Dancing is also a traditional value, and nothing's better than dressing up silly, getting drunk, and dancing in public.


[edit] See also

[edit] Snark

  1. ↑ Where 'heretic' is defined roughly as "people who don't play nice with their local church leader."
  2. ↑ Where 'sexual deviancy' is defined as "Anything remotely sexual that isn't a married man and his chattel woman trying to make a baby in the missionary position."
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